Thursday, July 7, 2011

Who Do I Think I Am?

July 7, 2011

Okay, um....hang with me, 'cause I am really not certain just WHERE this is goin' today. All I know is that this was on my heart and mind when I woke up yesterday mornin', and I want to talk about it with ya'll.

I am on FACEBOOK, and many times I post scripture in my status and talk about how awesome God is, just like many of the folks I know. My FB page is open to anyone to read, since I figure that if someone comes across the scriptures and other things I post, then maybe it will get them thinkin' about their own relationship with God, and what they need to do about it. Here on my blog, I also try to let folks know about my faith in a way that is real, by relatin' stories of my own experiences. I ain't preachin'--I'm just talkin'. If I tell ya'll the truth--it's up to YOU what ya do with it.

Well, I've started hearin' that little voice in my head--you know the one, the one that when you're in church singin' and praisin' God and you're just about to lift up your hands in praise, and it says, "You're only doin' that to look holy." Or, my personal favorite, "Yeah! Lift your hands and everyone will think you're really holy!"

Yeesh--all that junk in your brain, and all ya wanna do is worship the Father. Trust me--don't listen to that mook--he's called the accuser of the brethren for a reason. (Revelation 12:10)

Well, anyway, here it comes, rantin’ about how DARE I think I am a 'good Christian', and WHO DO I THINK I AM to post about God and tell the world about Him?

Hmmmm...good question.

Well, who DO I think I am? Why would God use ME, of all people, to tell others about Him? I'm nothing like many of my Christian sisters who blog. I am not sweet and soft spoken like Mrs. White at Legacy of Home(www.legacyofhome.blogspot.com). I don't have the tender gentility of Marqueta at Sweete Felicity(www.sweetefelicity.blogspot.com). I don't have the eloquence of Lady Lydia at Home Living (www.homeliving.blogspot.com). I don't even have the simple wisdom of Carmen at Life Blessons (www.lifeblessons.blogspot.com).

Okay, so let's look at the many OTHER reasons He would use me....

Looks? (Oh stop laughin'--I may not be Halle Berry, but I ain't dogmeat) Nope--the Bible says that while man looks at outward appearances, God looks at the heart. (1Samuel 16:7)

My wit? Well, maybe HALF. (you'll get that later and laugh, trust me)

My charm? Oh PULEEZE. My mother once sent me to a charm school when I was in Jr. High, in a desperate attempt to turn me into a 'lady'. *AHEM*. We all see how well THAT worked out. I'm still just me, rough edges and all. Proverbs 31 states that charm is deceitful. (verse 30) Charm will tell you just what you want to hear and stroke your ego enough to get you to do what it wants you to (remember Eve and the serpent? kinda gives 'snake charmer' a whole new meaning, doesn't it?). I've been 'charmed' enough to know that I don't like where it leads me, and I am not gonna do that to others.

Ah, I know--my INTELLIGENCE! (okay, now I'M laughin') Look, I have got 'book smarts' out the wazoo--I am a learnin' machine. I can research and find things out that other folks have no clue where to begin lookin'. If I have any real addiction in my life--it's learnin'.

So what? God is not impressed with all the knowledge, and I am not so smart I can go on Jeopardy. Solomon even said in Ecclesiastes that “he who increases in knowledge increases sorrow.” (verse 1:18) I’m not sayin’ don’t learn--I’m sayin’ don’t get all proud about it. Just ‘cause you know how to make manure without a cow(long story--don’t ask), doesn’t mean you need to boast about it. All the knowledge in the world is useless if you don’t know God through His Son Jesus Christ.

Okay, so we have ruled out looks, wit, charm and intelligence. What else?

I got it! MY GOODNESS.

Nope, sorry.

I am not a good person.

Oh, I do good things, I try to help others, I go to church and read the Bible and pray. I give blood and I return my library books on time. None of that makes me good.

Jesus said there is none good but God. (Matthew 19:17) Now, as a Christian, all my sins are covered by the blood Jesus shed on the cross because I chose to believe in the sacrifice He made for me. As a result, when God looks at me, He doesn’t see the miserable failure that I am. No, He see me with the eyes of a loving Father, Who sees what I am becoming through my relationship with Jesus Christ. He sees me as righteous, because I have put on Jesus, and Jesus is righteous. NOT ME. Scripture says that my righteousness, if I even had any, is as filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). We’re not talkin’ old clothes rags--the words used here are the ones used to describe menstrual rags. When a woman was ‘in her time’, she was considered unclean. THAT is how much any so called ‘goodness’ of mine is worth.

Well, then, Why would God use me for ANYTHING, let alone tell folks about Him and what He can do in their lives? If I am such a screw up--if I fall down all the time (and believe me....I smack the dirt every day folks. Some days are just harder hits than others.) why would He use me?

Because I KNOW I’m a screw up, and I don’t hide it from the world. I don't have what Preach calls 'spiritual amnesia'. I remember EXACTLY what my life was like before I came to Christ. Because you can look at ME, see MY failures, and know that if He loved ME enough to send His Son, Jesus, to die the most horrendous death I could ever imagine, just so He could save ME from the consequences of MY OWN stupidity, just so He could claim ME as His child, and live with ME for eternity, just so I could have peace in MY life and not be afraid of anything ever again....

....doncha think that gives other folks who fail hope?

I’m not a preacher. I have no holiness other than what my relationship to Jesus gives me. I fail every day and have to start all over each time by askin’ for forgiveness. I cry out to God every day to help me ‘cause I have screwed up AGAIN. Life does not always go my way. I am not always happy. I don’t always act in love or wisdom. I am selfish, self-centered, prideful and just plain ignorant at times (okay, most days--alright--EVERY DAY!).

But I know this one thing, and I NEVER have to doubt it.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16.

Who do I think I am? I don’t think it--I KNOW who I am. I am a child of the Most High God. I am a sinner saved by grace. I am not better than anyone else on this earth. I have a commission (Mark 16:15) from Jesus to tell the world about Him and what He has done, is doing and will continue doing in my life until His return. (Philippians 1:6)

So....who do you think YOU are?

Well, I got chores. Later ya’ll.
© 2011 by Evelyn Edgett

1 comment:

  1. Dear Evelyn,

    Well said, my friend, well said! I feel like a hypocrite at times, too, but I know that it's just Satan whispering, as he always does. We are nothing without Christ yet through His grace, we are free to share his perfect love with others. Now that's something to crow about!

    Love,

    Marqueta

    p.s. I think you're pretty eloquent, myself! :)

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